Recently my husband and I were asked what word we would choose to describe our first year of marriage…we thought, “savor.” We’ve savored our new married life together. Upon getting married and moving to Dallas last summer, God invited us to slow down and spend our energy pursuing each other. We could have dashed forward, packing ourselves into many ministerial and career-building opportunities, but we instead sensed the need for our marriage to breathe. We realized the sacredness of this time in our lives. When I think about this topic I imagine a royal feast, with fruits and delicacies spread on a linen tablecloth. The king (there’s a king) opens his arms wide, saying, “Come, sit and dine. The choice foods are in season, and hand-selected for such a time as this.” Marriage is like that. Just as each season of married life comes with new challenges, it also comes with a new feast laid on the king’s table, a new realm of delight which the Lord invites us to thoroughly enjoy. Reading “The Mystery of Marriage” by Mike Mason opened our minds to this reality. Marriage is extraordinary! There is so much potential for connection.

I’ve learned that savoring is a practice; a practice of devoting our attention to each other, accommodating for tender silence, deciding to lay aside distractions and daily burdens in order to be present and take in the beauty and the wonder of the other. Time and attention seem to be some of the most valuable gifts you can give your spouse. Attention, especially, seems the doorway to savoring covenant love. You can have a lot of experiences and spend a lot of time with your spouse without savoring any of it. C.S. Lewis writes about Eros as a Means of Grace, describing how romantic love provides “the opportunity to develop a disciplined awareness of another person…to get to know that person in his/her uniqueness through practicing a deep level of self-giving.” We’re given the opportunity to savor, will we choose to? The table is set before us.

From Soft Eyes, a song I wrote for my husband:                

What is the purpose of holding a moment

Choosing not to rush ahead,                            

If not to embrace all the delicate things

that need room to come alive.

We need room to come alive.

With these soft eyes.

Your soft eyes.

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